Every one of us has responsibilities, we all have someone that depends on us, family, friends, coworkers, employees, employers. We all do our best to make sure their needs are met. If you are lucky, you get a sense of appreciation from these people, but not always. Regardless, we continue to do what we do, even under great stress and resistance, we find ways to overcome and succeed. We just know that someday, they will see, and your efforts will be rewarded.
Unfortunately, it is more likely that your efforts will go unnoticed, and we will double our efforts, to make it obvious what we bring to the table is substantial and important. The condition of life is such that we keep trying. There is a quote from the movie “The Shawshank Redemption” where Andy Dufresne says, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” I encourage you to watch the movie, if you haven’t seen it in a while.
Think about how much effort you are willing to put into caring for others.
Now think about how much effort you put into caring for yourself.
Is there a difference? Why?
My guess is that we all seem to have this belief, that if we treat people how we would like to be treated, they will reciprocate. Do they?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that you stop being the generous person that you are. The fact of the matter is that we all get some sense of joy by seeing the people around us benefit from our efforts, especially our loved ones, ultimately, that’s why we do what we do. But we all should keep in mind that these people likely did not ask you to do this and therefore will probably not reciprocate. We must manage our expectations; you cannot assume that someone knows you expected them to do something when you did not explicitly ask for it. The sooner you reconcile this fact, the sooner your mental health will improve.
In the workplace, we tend to have this belief that “our work speaks for itself”. When we don’t get that raise or promotion, we then try harder. The reality is that our work does not speak for itself. Have you ever had someone else get a promotion off your work? Likely someone else not only spoke for your work they claimed it was their own. You could get angry at these people, but if you think about it, we all are on a mission to succeed, they saw an opportunity and seized it. Is it ethical? No, does it matter, only to you. So, who is at fault?
You! We all should be aware of how important narratives are, why would you let someone else tell the story?
You created the opportunity and left it for someone to take advantage of. Until you stop doing this, it will continue to happen. Stop waiting for someone to value your work, or value you. You must do it for yourself! Consider how the flight attendant tells you to put your oxygen mask on before helping others. There is a reason for that, you can’t help someone if you’re unconscious.
Today is a new day, and it is the beginning of the rest of your life, what are you going to do with it? I suggest you reflect on the lessons learned up to this point and apply them today. Think about how much advice you have for others and take it for yourself. Never let your work speak for itself, you speak for your work, and if no one listens, find someone who will.
You matter because you can affect the world around you in a positive way, but until you matter to you, you won’t matter to anyone else. What will you do, get busy living or get busy dying?
Do you know why you matter?
Do you value yourself?